hold lightly, hold it all so lightly that you are holding
nothing at all anymore…
this is just another experience moving through you,
mist between your fingers, making patterns in the air…
all your feelings, all your thoughts, full of shine, never mind,
have come and will go away…
don’t cling, don’t grasp, there is nothing to take home,
breathe out your fullness, let out your soul,
let it wander and flow with the flow…
nowhere is lost, nowhere is found,
there is only one point, one circle, one goal…

The mirror reflects and lets go, our mind clings and holds on,
to ideas, emotions, feelings.
witness, says the wise man,
enter the gap between whatever arises,
lose your self and die, to be reborn again and again
every moment,
there is no beginning, no end,
where will you find what you are looking for ?
drop your “why”, surrender your “how”,
simply rest in “what is”
always already present, here and now…
Go down to the cave, walk through the darkness
and the shadows, find the light in the core of your depths,
be friends with whatever you face.
dance, says the old crone,
in the flames of fire, burn and melt,
make with compassion the bridge between the one
and the many,  one step at a time,
pouring your self into emptiness,
create life from this void…
You long and yearn, while love stares you in the eyes
and through your eyes, all the time beckoning.
drown, says the crazy lover,
and let your soul be caressed by one glance,
one smile, there is no other, unveil the illusion
and unmask the facade of separation, in your very ache
lies the response of your beloved,
let your tears flow freely, open your
heart wide, and touch the face of the divine…

be not the mental noise, be the stillness from where it emerges,
you are not your thoughts, just let them come and go……
be not the anger that arises, ask who is it that is angry?
who is sad ? who is it that weeps and feels so low?
be the screen on which colours move and dazzle
simply be the field where all the ideas grow…..
seek not your self in the waves big or small
that dance and clash against the shores
be the deep ocean where it all takes place
be the space from where it all flows………..

if only i had this, if only i had that,
if only he’d said this, if only she’d not said that…
i wish it was different, i wish i was elsewhere,
i wish the world was a better place, i wish everyone would care…
i want sunshine and not rain, i want some heat and not cold,
i want my own place in the sun, i want as i want it to unfold…
i need more than i have now, i need to travel and explore,
i need to know it all, i need to have more and more…
I’ll be happy if i get a house, I’ll be happy with a new car,
I’ll be happy if i find love, I’ll be happy if i become a star…
if only i was slimmer, if only i was pretty,
if only i was clever, if only i was witty,
if only, i wish, i need, i hope, i want, i yearn, i long, i ache,
i’ll be happy, if only, if only, everything happened my way…
a white cloud passing by, got fed up with my chatter,
gave me a caress on my face, woke me to what matters…
right here, right now, what is, just is,
all is perfect, like this or like this…
nothing to get, nowhere to be,
to accept this “what is” is the only key…

I don’t remember the last time Trevor bought me a present for an occasion, like my birthday or valentine’s day or diwali or christmas. He doesn’t do presents very well. He just plain forgets. Its also very rare for him to pay me a compliment. Words matter to me, but I’ve given up on them – not going to get those words from him! Words of acknowledgement or words of encouragement, words to make me feel special or words to show how much he loves me. He can’t share old Hindi romantic songs with me, he has no clue what they are all about.
But I sure can count on him to bring me a cup of green tea or ginger tea or nettle and peppermint tea, every couple of hours, without asking for it. I’ve never had to ask him to take the garbage out or hoover the floors. At night to help me sleep he gives me a rub and a massage, specially on my neck and shoulders. Every single night. If he’s around I’m never alone in the kitchen cooking. He is always present. And he will chop the onions so that I don’t cry, grate the ginger and garlic, wash the coriander and mint and open any cans I need, coconut milk or black eyed beans.
He feels guilty at times about the presents and the compliments. I even tease him about it sometimes. But I’m only teasing. I really don’t care at all about flowers, chocolates, diamonds or sloppy mushy valentine day cards. Because he gives me a million gifts ever day, ordinary, small, thoughtful, kind, precious gifts all the time. No need for an occasion – he makes every moment special. He makes my heart sing. This must be love…

When I was younger, my grandmother in India used to talk quite often about how the tree that bends itself ends up surviving the storm and the tree that stands rigid gets blown away with its roots.
One day I told her about a strong disagreement with a close friend and she said to me: yield, surrender, say sorry.
Your strength does not lie in holding on to your position no matter what. At times, it is wiser to step back and wait, then when all is calm, step up and have your say. You will not be speaking from the same place anymore. And you will have other results as a consequence, perhaps the unexpected will flow and 20 years down the road, as you sit next to your old friend, you will feel love and gratitude for her continuing presence in your life.
And she was so right…

True strength does not come from being hard, it comes from accepting your vulnerability, It does not come from being in control, very often it comes from surrendering it. It does not come from holding on to your position at all times, sometimes it is developed by silently retreating from it.

When life throws you a shock, brings you some pain, shakes your world up – Accept.
Let life move through you, feel the pain and let yourself melt, dissolve, shatter and fold.
You might at first refuse, resist, deny and explode, run away or ram into, scream, holler, weep and say no no no!
Sometimes this is what we do and this is what we need to do, till we come to a point at last, to the place eventually, that simply lets go…
Then we stand up to face whatever it is that has come knocking at our door.
We accept, we let it in, we make space within and everything changes, everything flows once more. In this flowing, a new story begins to unfold.

It is all Lila, all play. My grandmother used to say…
Stand still, let it wash over you, and then even this new story might fade away and make place for yet another.
Hold it all lightly not tightly. Everything that comes your way – hold it so lightly that you are holding nothing at all anymore.
Thus, in the middle of chaos, uncertainty, not knowing, and all kinds of strangeness,
You will still be Home…